Sexting is a fun way to build tension in between dates, explore fantasies, or even just tease your partner from miles away.
But it can also be a risky proposition. You don’t want your explicit photo or video ending up in the wrong hands, so it’s important to know what you’re doing before you start sending.
1. Start with a flirty greeting
A flirty greeting can help you start a conversation that’s comfortable for both parties. This way, you can get a feel for their comfort level before getting into the more dirty aspects of sexting.
If you’re not sure how your partner will react to sexting, it’s a good idea to start with something light, says sexuality educator Jamie J. LeClaire in a blog post for sex wellness shop Unbound.
This helps you make it clear that you’re not just looking to pass the time with him, but that you’d like to explore deeper communication. Moreover, it can make him more receptive to your flirty texts and encourage him to be open with you.
3. Use visual descriptions
Visual descriptions are a great way to convey erotic intent and content. They can include written messages, GIFs, photos, videos, emojis, and more.
They can also be useful for those who are blind or have low vision. For example, a blind person might use an image of themselves to describe their physical appearance in a social setting or for navigating social situations.
When sending visuals, don’t send anything that you are not comfortable with, and never share your face without your partner’s consent. Keep your sexy nudes in a separate app so they don’t accidentally get sent to someone else or accidentally show up on your partner’s phone.
4. Make them do some of the work
Sexting is a fun way to get to know your partner, but it can also lead to bigger problems down the road. So it’s important to make sure you’re sexting with the right people, and it’s also wise to keep things fun and flirty at all times.
One of the best ways to get in on the sexting action is to make your partner do some of the work. The best part is that you can usually do this in a variety of fun and creative ways. For example, if you’re trying to find the most creative way to text your special someone, one of my favorite sexting tricks is to send the same message multiple times. This allows you to test out different texts before settling on the most satisfying sexting strategy.
5. Let your passion take the lead
If you want your sexting convos to be hot and spicy, let your passion take the lead. That’s what sex therapist Sari Cooper calls “a good way to keep the conversation fresh,” she says.
It can be something that makes you laugh or a funny photo of yourself, she says. It can also be a romantic idea or a gift that you think your partner will like, she adds.
And it can be a sexy memory from a past sexual encounter or intimate moment that you and your partner are able to relive. That’s how you can tap into your love languages that aren’t always expressed through physical sex, says Casey Tanner, certified sex therapist and expert for LELO.
