Stem Lesbian Meaning

By Holly McClain
May 24th, 2023
Stem Lesbian Meaning

A stem lesbian is a Black or Latinx queer person who is somewhere in between a stud and a femme. They often mix both and are a big fan of makeup, glam and fashion.

Stems are also sometimes called soft butch in the LGBTQ community. They may wear more masculine clothing or be more feminine in their style, but they still have a strong sense of fashion and are into beautiful makeup.


A stem lesbian is a Black or Latinx woman whose gender expression falls somewhere between stud and femme on the sexuality spectrum. A stud is a person with masculine characteristics and style, while a femme is a person who is more feminine.

Stem lesbians often wear clothing that combines both styles in a way that is unique to them. For example, they could wear a dress one day and baggy athletic gear the next.

They care greatly about their appearance and are able to express themselves in their physical appearance. They may have a mix of masculine and feminine traits, and they are generally very confident.

A stem lesbian should not be used by white women as it is a racially-specific term for the Black and Latinx LGBTQ community. They should instead use the term soft butch or futch which is a combination of butch and femme.


If you’re a Black or Latinx woman with a mix of stud and femme traits, then you may identify as a stem lesbian. This is also known as soft butch and it’s a term commonly used by lesbians of colour in the LGBTQ community.

Stem lesbians are very versatile in terms of their style. They often prefer a neutral style of dressing but can also mix masculine and feminine elements together.

This is especially true for women of colour, where a combination of femininity and masculinity are more common than you might expect in the LGBT community.

One way to defy gendered fashion is by wearing men’s cut shirts. These help to widen the upper body and make it look less curvy. This is especially helpful for women of colour who have a broad shoulders and are shaped like the average man!

Gender Identity

Gender identity refers to a person’s innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither – how they perceive themselves. This may or may not be in harmony with their sex assigned at birth.

Gender expression is the external appearance of one’s gender identity, usually expressed through behaviors, clothing, body characteristics or voice. It may or may not conform to socially defined behaviors and traits typically associated with being either male or female.

Heteronormativity is a broader term that includes attitudes, actions, and practices, backed by institutional power, that impose bias against individuals or groups with non-heterosexual behavior or identities. Heterosexism is a subset of heteronormativity that discriminates against gay and bisexual people.

A stem lesbian or soft butch is a Black or Latinx LGBTQ person with gender expression that falls somewhere between stud and femme without basically fitting the stereotypes of either stud or femme. Stems can wear dresses, have long hair, care immensely about their appearance and their gender identity is primarily a combination of masculine and feminine.


Stem lesbian meaning is a term that refers to Black or Latinx women who express their gender expression in a combination of masculine and feminine characteristics. It is often seen as a soft butch and racially specific version of the word futch.

Stud and femme are terms used by the Black and Latinx LGBTQ community to describe a person’s style and energy. A stud is generally described as being more masculine and wearing manly clothing.

A femme is more feminine and dresses in a more feminine way. A stem is somewhere in between stud and femme bringing the perfect balance of masculine and feminine traits to their style and appearance.

Having a relationship with someone who is a stem can change your life in many ways. You may learn how to relax and not take yourself too seriously, you may find that you care more about the small details of your relationships, or you may even have a new appreciation for what being feminine is like.