What is a Soft Lesbian?

By Marcel Thoe
April 16th, 2023
What is a Soft Lesbian

A soft lesbian is a type of lesbian who combines masculine and feminine characteristics. They may express themselves sexually as tops, or they may be less sexual and prefer to switch roles in a relationship with their partner.

They are often seen in films, television shows and novels as a character who is a great match for high femmes. They are also called “chapstick” lesbians and have a similar identity to butch lesbians.


A soft lesbian is a gay woman who exhibits characteristics that fit both masculine and feminine norms. This may include displaying traits such as short hair or wearing clothes labeled with male names and mannerisms.

Although a soft lesbian is often perceived as not as “swaggy” as a butch lesbian, this is not the case. A soft lesbian showcases some of the qualities associated with a butch lesbian, like sex, but demonstrates it in a more feminine way.

This type of softness is framed as a radical feminist movement, a move to reclaim feminized qualities and feminized subjects as valuable. This turn to softness is also a code of conduct in femme Internet culture, where it is posited as a form of resistance against neoliberal and masculinist ideals.

A collage-style diary entry with a quote that reads, “Being soft is an act of resistance.” This image, shared by an Instagram account dedicated to femme healing, makes this idea explicit by focusing on a feminized symbol most commonly associated with girlhood, such as flowers or a journal. The text, however, goes further than a simple quote by redefining softness as a resistance to trauma.


A soft lesbian is a gender non-conforming gay woman who may be cisgender, transgender or gender fluid. This type of woman is not confined to the bedroom and will wear whatever it takes to get where they want to be. They are also big on fashion and are prone to gimmicks. One of their most notable traits is their love of bling. The best part about this is that they have a knack for spotting the latest and greatest fashions. They are also a lot better at concealing their feminine inclinations than the average man-on-the-street. Its not uncommon to find these women in the same department store as their male counterparts, and that’s a good thing for those of us who appreciate the gender balance.


A soft lesbian is a woman who is somewhere in between the more masculine-leaning butches and the feminine-leaning femmes. This kind of lesbian loves wearing skirts, dresses, jewelry, lipstick, and elaborate blowouts but also likes to wear jeans or a button-down shirt.

They may even prefer to get their sex in a baseball cap or a t-shirt. They are usually found in the outskirts of the mainstream, but you can also find them at events and festivals around town.

A soft lesbian is a girl who doesn’t look much different from her straight girlfriends. They’re a bit more hesitant about trying new things, but they’re not afraid to make a move. She might even be a baby dyke, who is still learning about her dyke culture.


The relationships that a soft lesbian has with other people can vary from person to person. For example, a soft lesbian might have an exclusive but intimate relationship with another woman, or they may be in a polyamorous or open relationship.

Typically, these relationships involve heteronormative gender roles. For instance, one woman might be more dominant and the other more nurturing.

But despite this, it is important to remember that no relationship is the same. Rather, every relationship has different dynamics and unique challenges.

This is especially true of relationships with queer women. These relationships often involve more intimacy and passion than straight romantic relationships, making it difficult to know what boundaries should be set.